God'sgift Achiuwa

CBT’s Unified College Basketball All-Name Team

1 Comment

Compiled by Eric Angevine and Troy Machir

If pitchers and catchers reporting is a rite of spring, the college hoops All-Name Team is the definitive rite of autumn. For years, Troy and I toiled separately, each producing our own All-Name lists in our own styles; him for Ballin’ is a Habit, me for Storming the Floor. Now, like chocolate and peanut butter, like NBA and ABA, like Franklin & Bash, we’re finally united, working in tandem to make your life just that much better.

Seriously, pull out your cellphone and snap an arms-length picture of yourself. You’re going to want to remember where you were when this happened. You’ll want to tell your grandkids – Dundrecous, Maverick and little Bol Bol – about this day.

Without further ado, we’d like to present the unified CollegeBasketballTalk All-Name Team. Because if you can’t trust guys named Machir and Angevine to sniff out goofy names, who can you trust?

First Team All-Name

*God’sgift Achiuwa (pictured), St. John’s – Quite simply, manna from heaven for scribes like us.

*Indiana Faithfull, Wofford – Seriously, Tom Crean? You couldn’t find a scholly for this kid?

*Danrad “Chicken” Knowles, Houston – Phi Slama Jamma. Dream. The Glide. Chicken.

Claybrin McMath, Bryant – Small-college forward, or character on Adventure Time?

Staats Battle, N.C. State – Definition of irony: 1.8 mpg, 1.0 ppg, 0.5 rpg, 0.2 apg, .28% FG.

*Consensus pick

Second Team All-Name

Sanjay Lumpkin, Northwestern – The love child of Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon and Lurleen Lumpkin? Stranger things have happened.

Dusty Hannahs, Texas Tech – “Dude, did you see the Dusty Hannahs on Austin City Limits last night?” “Nah, man. I was watching college basketball.”

Mo Ali-Cox, VCU – Mo Ali-Cox, Mo Ali-Problems.

Raven Barber, Mt. St. Mary’s – Wearing a smock, sweeping up hair? That’s so Raven.

Kannon Burrage – UT-San Antonio – We’re pronouncing it like “barrage”. We don’t care if it’s wrong.

Third Team All-Name

Marcellus Barksdale, IUPUI – Shades of Pulp Fiction and The Wire. What’s his middle name, Heisenberg?

Deverin Muff, Eastern Kentucky – Don’t laugh. He’s probably up to his neck in a fashion accessory for outdoors usually made of a cylinder of fur or fabric with both ends open for keeping the hands warm.

Blondy Baruti, Tulsa – Mr. Baruti shaves his head, but we feel reasonably certain he’s a brunette.

Hooper Vint, UTEP – A whole range of career options are available for Mr. Vint if basketball doesn’t pan out. For instance: he’d make an excellent county sherriff. Also, Hooper Vint: Private Eye is a show we’d all watch.

Simeon Esprit, Penn – A captivating new fragrance by Jean-Ralphio.

Honorable Mention: Ice Asortse, Stephen F. Austin; Quevyn Winters, Duquesne; Scooter Gillette, Niagara; Jordair Jett, St. Louis; Stanton Kidd, North Carolina Central

Also receiving votes: Cal Poly’s Drake U’u, a perennial all-namer who lost some of his former shine this year. Younger brother Parker U’u is diluting the brand as a freshman at Hartford this season.

Team of the Year: The Cal Santa Barbara Gauchos – Dalante Dunklin, Keegan Hornbuckle, Prince Arceneaux, Holt Dunlap, Duke DaRe, Drew Dickey, we salute you.

Special Teams: The second half of our All-Name Team, featuring the All-Gender Confusion team and more, can be found here.

Eric Angevine is the editor of Storming the Floor and tweets @stfhoops. Troy Machir is Managing Editor of Ballin’ is a Habit and tweets @TroyMachir

No. 13 Iowa State suspends Jameel McKay indefinitely

Iowa State forward Georges Niang, forward Jameel McKay, forward Abdel Nader and guard Deonte Burton celebrate after center Stuart Nezlek scored late in the second half of an NCAA college basketball game against Coppin State, Wednesday, Dec. 30, 2015, in Ames, Iowa. Iowa State won 104-84 (AP Photo/Justin Hayworth)
AP Photo/Justin Hayworth
Leave a comment

Already lacking depth, No. 13 Iowa State will be short a key contributor Saturday when they take on Oklahoma State in Stillwater.

Friday night it was announced that senior forward Jameel McKay has been suspended indefinitely by head coach Steve Prohm and did not make the trip with the team. McKay, who’s been dealing with knee issues recently, is averaging 12.4 points and a team-high 9.0 rebounds per game on the season.

Over the last six games he’s averaging 7.7 points and 8.7 rebounds per contest, shooting 60.6 percent from the field.

McKay has been asked to man the middle for a team lacking in both size and depth, with Georges Niang shifting over to the five when McKay needs a break for either rest or foul trouble reasons. Without McKay even more responsibility falls upon the shoulders of Niang, Abdel Nader and Deonte Burton in the front court.

The Cyclones are looking to end a two-game losing streak, and even with Oklahoma State’s struggles accomplishing that gets tougher with McKay out of the lineup.

News of McKay’s suspension was first reported by the Ames Tribune.

UNLV dismisses guard Daquan Cook from team

Illinois v UNLV
Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Leave a comment

LAS VEGAS (AP) UNLV junior guard Daquan Cook has been dismissed from the team.

Interim coach Todd Simon made the announcement on Friday, though no reason was given.

Cook was suspended for 13 games by previous coach Dave Rice in November after being arrested and charged with DUI.

Cook appeared in two games this season after being reinstated, scoring three points in four minutes. He missed the 2014-15 season after tearing his right ACL and played 28 games as a sophomore.