God'sgift Achiuwa

CBT’s Unified College Basketball All-Name Team

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Compiled by Eric Angevine and Troy Machir

If pitchers and catchers reporting is a rite of spring, the college hoops All-Name Team is the definitive rite of autumn. For years, Troy and I toiled separately, each producing our own All-Name lists in our own styles; him for Ballin’ is a Habit, me for Storming the Floor. Now, like chocolate and peanut butter, like NBA and ABA, like Franklin & Bash, we’re finally united, working in tandem to make your life just that much better.

Seriously, pull out your cellphone and snap an arms-length picture of yourself. You’re going to want to remember where you were when this happened. You’ll want to tell your grandkids – Dundrecous, Maverick and little Bol Bol – about this day.

Without further ado, we’d like to present the unified CollegeBasketballTalk All-Name Team. Because if you can’t trust guys named Machir and Angevine to sniff out goofy names, who can you trust?

First Team All-Name

*God’sgift Achiuwa (pictured), St. John’s – Quite simply, manna from heaven for scribes like us.

*Indiana Faithfull, Wofford – Seriously, Tom Crean? You couldn’t find a scholly for this kid?

*Danrad “Chicken” Knowles, Houston – Phi Slama Jamma. Dream. The Glide. Chicken.

Claybrin McMath, Bryant – Small-college forward, or character on Adventure Time?

Staats Battle, N.C. State – Definition of irony: 1.8 mpg, 1.0 ppg, 0.5 rpg, 0.2 apg, .28% FG.

*Consensus pick

Second Team All-Name

Sanjay Lumpkin, Northwestern – The love child of Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon and Lurleen Lumpkin? Stranger things have happened.

Dusty Hannahs, Texas Tech – “Dude, did you see the Dusty Hannahs on Austin City Limits last night?” “Nah, man. I was watching college basketball.”

Mo Ali-Cox, VCU – Mo Ali-Cox, Mo Ali-Problems.

Raven Barber, Mt. St. Mary’s – Wearing a smock, sweeping up hair? That’s so Raven.

Kannon Burrage – UT-San Antonio – We’re pronouncing it like “barrage”. We don’t care if it’s wrong.

Third Team All-Name

Marcellus Barksdale, IUPUI – Shades of Pulp Fiction and The Wire. What’s his middle name, Heisenberg?

Deverin Muff, Eastern Kentucky – Don’t laugh. He’s probably up to his neck in a fashion accessory for outdoors usually made of a cylinder of fur or fabric with both ends open for keeping the hands warm.

Blondy Baruti, Tulsa – Mr. Baruti shaves his head, but we feel reasonably certain he’s a brunette.

Hooper Vint, UTEP – A whole range of career options are available for Mr. Vint if basketball doesn’t pan out. For instance: he’d make an excellent county sherriff. Also, Hooper Vint: Private Eye is a show we’d all watch.

Simeon Esprit, Penn – A captivating new fragrance by Jean-Ralphio.

Honorable Mention: Ice Asortse, Stephen F. Austin; Quevyn Winters, Duquesne; Scooter Gillette, Niagara; Jordair Jett, St. Louis; Stanton Kidd, North Carolina Central

Also receiving votes: Cal Poly’s Drake U’u, a perennial all-namer who lost some of his former shine this year. Younger brother Parker U’u is diluting the brand as a freshman at Hartford this season.

Team of the Year: The Cal Santa Barbara Gauchos – Dalante Dunklin, Keegan Hornbuckle, Prince Arceneaux, Holt Dunlap, Duke DaRe, Drew Dickey, we salute you.

Special Teams: The second half of our All-Name Team, featuring the All-Gender Confusion team and more, can be found here.

Eric Angevine is the editor of Storming the Floor and tweets @stfhoops. Troy Machir is Managing Editor of Ballin’ is a Habit and tweets @TroyMachir

Florida Gulf Coast’s Demetris Morant out 3-4 months

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Florida Gulf Coast redshirt junior forward Demetris Morant is expected to miss the next 3-4 months after undergoing surgery last week to repair a stress fracture in his right shin, the school announced on Tuesday.

The 6-foot-9 forward averaged 4.5 points, 4.4 blocks and 1.3 blocks per game in 33 appearances (18 starts) for the Eagles during the 2014-15 season.

“This is obviously an unfortunate setback for Demetris, but it was a procedure that needed to be done,” Florida Gulf Coast head coach Dooley said in a statement. “We decided it would be best to have it completed now to hopefully get him back for A-Sun play. It’s an opportunity now for other guys to step up in his absence, and I have confidence they’ll get the job done.”

The Eagles have the top frontline in the Atlantic Sun, one that returns Marc-Eddy Norelia and Filip Cvjeticanin, a 3-point shooter who missed all of last season recovering from back surgery. VCU transfer Antravious Simmons becomes eligible in the second semester.

Florida Gulf Coast begins the 2015-16 season on Nov. 14 against Ohio.

Bill Self on Cheick Diallo: ‘It may be a couple of more weeks’

2015 McDonald's All American Game
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Cheick Diallo is currently practicing with Kansas, but his eligibility still remains in question.

On Monday, Kansas head coach Bill Self appeared on “The Border Patrol” on WHB-AM 810 and was asked to update the status of his freshman big man.

“He’s been cleared to practice,” Self told hosts Steven St. John and Nate Bukaty. “(His status) is depending on what they find throughout from the information we submit to them whenever we get it all together.

“A lot of people think, ‘Well, why wouldn’t it all be together?’ Well there’s a lot of reasons why. It’s because they told us recently some things that they just wanted. Instead of just throwing it to them piece by piece, they requested we to just submit it all together, so it may be a couple of more weeks before we’re able to submit everything when you’re talking about getting information from schools in Mali and everything like that.

“But we hope in two weeks, maybe three weeks, before we have a definite answer. But right now, Cheick is like everybody else. He’s practicing.”

Diallo, a 6-foot-9 forward from Mali is allowed to practice with the Jayhawks, but has been waiting to be cleared by the NCAA Eligibility Center despite enrolling in classes over the summer and earning six credits. Self anticipated this would be a long process, but has remained confident Diallo, the top-5 recruit in Class of 2015, will eventually be cleared to play this season.

For three years, Diallo attended Our Savior New American School in Centereach, New York, which is currently under NCAA review. In September, Pitt freshman Damon Wilson, Diallo’s teammate at OSNA, was cleared to play.

Kansas opens the season on Nov. 13 against Northern Colorado.